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The Sword of Laban Chronicles

November 26, 2007

Asian Invasian Issue #2

Filed under: General — Dirk Danger @ 7:53 pm

 

     The movie that we are bringing to you is called FlashPoint. The film starred Donnie Yen, who was also the movies matial arts choreographer. Most people will recognize him from American Titles such as Iron Monkey, Blade 2 and Hero

This movie is one of his more unique choreographed films because he introduces alot of mixed martial arts. He first introduced some mixed martial arts in to the cop film “SPL” (Sha Po Lang or Killzone (American Title)) however you see alot more of that sweet action here. When asked in an interview about the mixed martial arts he stated:

….Mixed martial arts, a combat sport that has become popular in the West in the recent years, is an effective fighting system that employs a vast array of different martial arts techniques. Each contestant possesses a variety of martial arts techniques such as Jujitsu, boxing, Muay Thai, wrestling, etc. I believe this is the most authentic type of combat. I have been researching, studying and learning it……….”

 

     The Basic plot synopsis has been stated as follows: The man; Jun Ma, Detective Sergeant, Serious Crimes Unit. Fast, precise and brutal - Jun detests crime and his life long nemeses are a Vietnamese gang of three brothers - eldest brother Archer, the bully; second brother Tony, the cool calculator; youngest brother Tiger, the fighter. Their skills have seen them grow steadily in the criminal world. In order to further infiltrate the gang and fight them from within, Jun has planted a mole, Wilson, who has managed to gain the complete trust of the gang and has become their personal bodyguard. Over the years Wilson has become more and more unhappy with Jun’s impulsive and unruly style, their disagreements in their way of working has led to constant arguments and altercations

     I loved this movie, it was alot of action and great choreography. I am a big fan of Donnie Yens work and I think to date this is his best movie and i think the flick is a sure hit!!

October 17, 2007

Wanted For Forum Ridiculousness

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 12:22 pm

Have you seen this woman posting on your forums? 

 lb.JPG

Don’t lie to us.  We know you have.  Evidence of her work can be seen here

 simpsons.bmp

here

solsockpuppets.jpg

and here

 sticky-ode.bmp

on your sites.  We here at Forum Appropriate Rules and Their Sanction are on a crusade to have her banned from all forums, blogs, boards and any other such means of communications.  Her antics border on lunacy and we will not have her polluting cyber space any further. 

If you see her be warned she is armed and dangerous.  While she may look harmless she does not sound harmless.  One of her victims, BadBuddha, remembers his encounter with SoL Frog.  “It was awful!  Every time I heard her laugh I wanted to bash my head into the coffee table.”  Another brave soul who survived her attacks recounts his tale.  “It was horrible!  All I could see were blue blurs on my screen.  I tried to jump away but hosnap!  There I was no kills and she had a killing spree.”

We urge you to take the utmost caution when engaging Lady Blue in combat.  She’ll lull you into passivity with her silly banter and girlish giggle.  Then BAM!  The hideous laugh and you’re dead.  Just ask Cookieman, the first to feel her wrath and live to tell the tale.  Once she has found your weakness, rest assured she will exploit it again

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and again

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If you see Lady Blue please contact us at 1-888-FROG-LUV.  We’ll be sure to pass your gamertag and password to our leader who will take swift action against you. . .er, I mean her. 

Congrats to Wiffer!!!!

October 15, 2007

MSotW Finale!

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 9:19 am

It’s finally over!  The collective sigh may be uttered now.

Points: Kev with 7, Ronin with 3, websoul with 2, chaos, east, hottamales, Tru7h, lethal, gandeezay, Wiffer with 1.

Previous SoLers have been: chaos, kev, granty, east, vuel, MG, websoul, Boo, Hottamales, tru7h, ronin, kenobi, kmom, Gandeezay, Nummy, Wiffer, Merle, Blue, and RichWun.

The penalties: Kev and Ronin with 6 hours.  That leaves the finale wide open. 

Good luck.

  1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Rainbow Sherbet or Moose Tracks
  2. Book genre you read the most.  Fiction
  3. Best subforum is. . .? Archive Spotlight.  It has the best of Redd, Lethal, and Hott.
  4. Favorite founder and why? They each have their own endearing quirks.
  5. Bath or shower? Bath to relax, shower to get clean.
  6. Do you prefer video games with guns, cars, piñatas, or martial arts weapons? Guns, piñatas, and swords are good.  I don’t do cars.
  7. If you were to play a video game for 24 hours straight what would it be? Something I could play with friends.
  8. What color do you wear most often? Blue
  9. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? Usually salty.
  10. Does a British accent make a person sound more sophisticated?  I used to think so and then ausie joined the clan. 

October 12, 2007

Rich, you just Wun. . .

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 9:11 pm

A beauty makeover!  Being a newly returned missionary it must be difficult to transition back into regular life.  Never fear, SoL Beauty is here!  Things may have changed a bit since your mission but we will help you through it. 

For instance, we understand you were a vegetarian for the first 20 years of your life but something happened on the mission.  We have several scrumptious recipes posted on the forums that will help you to more fully enjoy your newly acquired love for meat consumption.  As far as not liking eggs, we recommend you not read Reddbone’s thread “The real deal on cooking eggs” as it gets quite graphic in its descriptions of various egg cooking stages and is not for those of weak tummies. 

Next is the dating scene.  We recommend you keep your cats, Max and Maxine, in your life.  I mean who can resist this?       

                              rich-and-cat1.JPG

Also, your choice of study is perfect.  Psychology is great for picking up the lady folk because girls want a guy who knows how to listen and is sensitive.  Sports psychology is a perfect profession for you since it combines your love of sports with your natural decision making skills.  Your leadership is legendary here are SoL since you played such a crucial role in the very beginnings of the clan.  Yes, we definitely approve the education sector of your life as well as the pets.  Besides you look like a pro already.

                       rich-golfing1.JPG

Now, onto the most distressing aspect of your post (and pre) mission habits.  We have just learned that you have not purchased a pair of pants in 5 years.  You are definitely in need of Beauty’s help here.  Therefore, we are issuing you a pass to the next Beauty Sleepover so we can take you shopping.  We’ll even see about getting some stuff in your favorite colors, black and yellow.  You need only bring one item to gain entrance into the Sleepover, a brightly colored wig.  We’ll settle for some updated pictures of the Ziggers.

Congrats to Kev for guessing correctly, though you will have to wait 6 hours before guessing the Grand Finale SoLer next week.

October 8, 2007

Mystery SoLer of the Week 19

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 1:24 pm

Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. . .It’s down to the final MSotW before the season finale.  Let’s see the points break down.

Points: Kev with 6, Ronin with 3, websoul with 2, chaos, east, hottamales, Tru7h, lethal, gandeezay, Wiffer with 1.

Previous SoLers have been: chaos, kev, granty, east, vuel, MG, websoul, Boo, Hottamales, tru7h, ronin, kenobi, kmom, Gandeezay, Nummy, Wiffer, Merle, and Blue.

The penalties: none this week.  You guys are getting smarter, or quieter.

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? peanut butter chocolate
2. Book genre you read the most. mystery/fantasy
3. Best subforum is. . .? no answer, but best thread is “?”
4. Favorite founder and why? blue, because of all the fancy writing
5. Bath or shower? shower, it’s faster
6. Do you prefer video games with guns, cars, piñatas, or martial arts weapons? guns because I tend to be better at those kind of games
7. If you were to play a video game for 24 hours straight what would it be? halo 1, best game ever
8. What color do you wear most often? black or white, because they go with pretty much anything
9. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? sweet, that probably explains the extra pounds
10. Are you a narcissist if you just look at your reflection when passing a reflective surface or must you also run your fingers through your hair? haha, no comment

October 3, 2007

Blue Steel Esq: 30 Years of Legal Fraud

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 3:35 pm

Yes, the upstanding lawyer in our midst lives up to all the legal jokes made about his profession.  If you ever wanted to know the dirt on a certain Founder, BS for short, here’s the scoop from the most reliable source out there.

Blue, it seems, has had the blood of lawyers in his veins long before he went to law school.  While still a child he entered into a contract with his younger sister wherein he would pay her the sum of $1 million dollars were she ever to get married.  Said sister has since gotten married and even had a child.  No moneys have been paid.  I suppose he could site the ‘just joking’ defense but honestly, his own sister.  An international incident occurred when Blue Steel visited England with his family one Christmas.  He climbed over the chain link fence guarding Stonehenge, that veritable icon of pagan architecture, from would-be nighttime vandals simply to say he’d been there.  What he actually saw of it in the dark is dubious and there are no pictures to prove it either, which is probably why nothing came of the incident.

When his gorgeous wife of 7 years first met him he claimed to be from Germany since his family had moved there whilst he was proselytizing on an LDS mission in Philadelphia, PA.  Clearly there were discrepancies in both his passport and accent.  This same sweet woman was duped on their wedding day, thinking her betrothed to be 6’ 4”.  She would learn years later that he was actually 6’ 5”, making the 3-inch heels she wore that day utterly futile.

Within three years Blue received bachelor degrees in Philosophy and Psychology with a minor in Logic from BYU.  Though he preferred the Philosophy classes he named Psychology on his diploma since only one could be listed and the BS sounded so much more distinguished than the BA.  And there is rumor on the forums of a contract entered into by the Founders wherein Goof will shave his Goatee if and only if a single post can be made on the forums bashing Audis, iMacs, natural wood cabinets and My Little Pony collections without vuel rebutting or cries of approbation from dave.  Clearly this contract is fraudulent as the terms are impossible.  We all know dave loves his My Little Pony Paradise Estate.  However, I think Goof is perpetrating the fraud in this case. . .

For those of you interested in how Blue Steel Esq really gets all those 360 achievements, behold. . .

     blue1.JPG

Congrats to Wiffer!!!!

October 2, 2007

Mystery SoLer of the Week 18

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 1:18 pm

Just two left for this edition of everyone’s favorite forum game.  Here is the break down of points, penalties and other necessary info. . .

Points: Kev with 6, Ronin with 3, websoul with 2, chaos, east, hottamales, Tru7h, lethal, gandeezay with 1.

Previous SoLers have been: chaos, kev, granty, east, vuel, MG, websoul, Boo, Hottamales, tru7h, ronin, kenobi, kmom, Gandeezay, Nummy, Wiffer, and Merle.

The penalties: none this week

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream
2. Book genre you read the most. Nonfiction
3. Best subforum is. . .? Halo Trilogy
4. Favorite founder and why? Goof  He’s nice as Blue, smart as Neo, and cool as Heat
5. Bath or shower? Showbath
6. Do you prefer video games with guns, cars, piñatas, or martial arts weapons?  I enjoy all the dishes of our video game stew
7. If you were to play a video game for 24 hours straight what would it be? Halo 3
8. What color do you wear most often? Blue
9. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? Depends on my mood
10. Do you like your marshmallows lightly toasted or burned to a crisp?  Toasted, burned is gross.

September 26, 2007

Merle: Conqueror or Conquered?

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 2:13 pm

Merle’s life seems pretty normal on the forums.  I must say he is one of the nicest guys, a great leader and he has managed to end up the co champion in all the recent contests.  He must really know his stuff.  But then I started doing some digging and what I discovered is surprising, nay shocking!  Merle isn’t the victorious clansman we all think he is.  In actuality he’s spent much of his life being beaten by other forces.  What are these forces?  Well, some are just fate, others water, sunrise, women. . . I’ll elaborate.   

Our old friend Merle wasn’t the winner amongst his siblings; oh no he is the second of four sons.  Better luck next time. . .oh wait.  And he’s tried conquering water but to this day still can’t swim.  He claims singing as his talent instead but can anyone corroborate this?  I say he and kmom should sing the Christmas duets this year.  Mornings are another thing Merle has not defeated.  They keep on coming each day, another and another, waking him against his wishes.  Merle has also been overcome by video games.  Here is an early image of him at 7 or 8 playing an old Atari game.  (Any guesses as to which game?)  Age the picture about 25 years and you’ll see he’s still hooked on gaming.  

merle1.jpg

The most notable defeat Merle has suffered is one few men escape when confronted.  Merle entered the world of single females with the intent of capturing one.  He claims he meant to woo her. . .I think he’s just covering for the fact that she caught him.  Anyway, this epic battle involved various exchanges, one of which included a rock.  Single Merle was defeated and what is left is Engaged Merle.  He is a transitory being and will soon make way for Married Merle.  I think Engaged Merle doesn’t mind this defeat so much.  Here’s the lovely Carol who captured his heart. 

carol1.jpg 

I suppose Merle did technically win a full scholarship to UNC (North Carolina) but really making such a big deal about winning and losing is so overrated.   

Congrats again Kev.  You have guaranteed at least a tie.

September 24, 2007

Mystery SoLer of the Week 17

Filed under: General — lady blue @ 1:25 pm

It’s coming down to the wire.  Only three people left.  Here are the standings:

Points: Kev with 5, Ronin with 3, websoul with 2, chaos, east, hottamales, Tru7h, lethal, gandeezay with 1.

Previous SoLers have been: chaos, kev, granty, east, vuel, MG, websoul, Boo, Hottamales, tru7h, ronin, kenobi, kmom, Gandeezay, Nummy, and Wiffer.

The penalties: none this week

Good Luck!!! 

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cherry Vanilla
2. Book genre you read the most. Fantasy (Wheel of Time) Horror (Stephen King)
3. Best subforum is. . .? Rainbow Six
4. Favorite founder and why? Heat, cause he’s the coolest… Blue may have had a chance if it was “Carolina Blue Steel”
5. Bath or shower? Bath
6. Do you prefer video games with guns, cars, piñatas, or martial arts weapons? Guns
7. If you were to play a video game for 24 hours straight what would it be? Legend of Zelda
8. What color do you wear most often? Blue
9. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? Sweet
10. After playing said video game for 24 hours do you sleep, eat, or play a different video game? I’d have to say: Eat, drink, sleep, then wake up and play a different video game!!

September 21, 2007

Filed under: General — Ronin Victory @ 11:12 am

TWO HEADED RAINBOW SIX CHAMPION CROWNED

SoL’s 1 vs 1 Rainbow Six tournament had an auspicious ending last night. The championship match featured Chaos Marine vs. Merle. After the first 10 minute match the combatants were in a deadlock with a kill a piece. The rules were slightly changed and the two were forced to fight in a confined space where more action would be inevitable, with the first combatant with three kills being declared the winner. At the end of the match the final tally, Chaos Marine 2 kills, Merle 2 kills. The two friends in true SoL fashion agreed to be Co-Champions. Chaos did chime in that every slot machine in the Dantes main room was blown up. Sad to say no one could watch the match to see the two battle it out.

In the earlier matches of the night, Chaos eliminated Lethal after a little snafu in Lethal’s memory wiring, 3-2. Ronin eliminated Vecna 5-2. Going in to the final preliminary match because of the uneven number of participants left it was decided that the person with the most kills in their match would get a bye. Merle eliminated Kev 5-1, with Kev dying in the last 30 seconds to Ronin’s dismay. A basic odd-even was picked as the tye breaker to see who would get the bye. As luck would have it, Merle got the bye.

In the semi-final match, Chaos dispatched Ronin with ease as a frustrated Necromancer played overly aggressive and got behind. Chaos took this opportunity to shoot Ronin as many times in the back as possible. A very well played match by Chaos, could not have lost to a better player, quote Ronin. Score 7-1

It was a fun, but tense event and we hope to see more events like this one, with more participants. It truly was a great representation of what SoL is to us.

PLEASE WELCOME ME IN CONGRATULATION OUR SoL Rainbow Six CO-CHAMPIONS.

CHAOS MARINE and MERLE

 

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