The Sword of Laban Chronicles

Have you seen this woman posting on your forums? 

Don’t lie to us.  We know you have.  Evidence of her work can be seen here

here

and here

on your sites.  We here at Forum Appropriate Rules and Their Sanction are on a crusade to have her banned from all forums, blogs, boards and any other such means of communications.  Her antics border on lunacy and we will not have her polluting cyber space any further. 

If you see her be warned she is armed and dangerous.  While she may look harmless she does not sound harmless.  One of her victims, BadBuddha, remembers his encounter with SoL Frog.  “It was awful!  Every time I heard her laugh I wanted to bash my head into the coffee table.”  Another brave soul who survived her attacks recounts his tale.  “It was horrible!  All I could see were blue blurs on my screen.  I tried to jump away but hosnap!  There I was no kills and she had a killing spree.”

We urge you to take the utmost caution when engaging Lady Blue in combat.  She’ll lull you into passivity with her silly banter and girlish giggle.  Then BAM!  The hideous laugh and you’re dead.  Just ask Cookieman, the first to feel her wrath and live to tell the tale.  Once she has found your weakness, rest assured she will exploit it again

and again

. 

If you see Lady Blue please contact us at 1-888-FROG-LUV.  We’ll be sure to pass your gamertag and password to our leader who will take swift action against you. . .er, I mean her. 

Congrats to Wiffer!!!!

It’s finally over!  The collective sigh may be uttered now.

Points: Kev with 7, Ronin with 3, websoul with 2, chaos, east, hottamales, Tru7h, lethal, gandeezay, Wiffer with 1.

Previous SoLers have been: chaos, kev, granty, east, vuel, MG, websoul, Boo, Hottamales, tru7h, ronin, kenobi, kmom, Gandeezay, Nummy, Wiffer, Merle, Blue, and RichWun.

The penalties: Kev and Ronin with 6 hours.  That leaves the finale wide open. 

Good luck.

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Rainbow Sherbet or Moose Tracks
2. Book genre you read the most.  Fiction
3. Best subforum is. . .? Archive Spotlight.  It has the best of Redd, Lethal, and Hott.
4. Favorite founder and why? They each have their own endearing quirks.
5. Bath or shower? Bath to relax, shower to get clean.
6. Do you prefer video games with guns, cars, piñatas, or martial arts weapons? Guns, piñatas, and swords are good.  I don’t do cars.
7. If you were to play a video game for 24 hours straight what would it be? Something I could play with friends.
8. What color do you wear most often? Blue
9. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? Usually salty.
10. Does a British accent make a person sound more sophisticated?  I used to think so and then ausie joined the clan. 

A beauty makeover!  Being a newly returned missionary it must be difficult to transition back into regular life.  Never fear, SoL Beauty is here!  Things may have changed a bit since your mission but we will help you through it. 

For instance, we understand you were a vegetarian for the first 20 years of your life but something happened on the mission.  We have several scrumptious recipes posted on the forums that will help you to more fully enjoy your newly acquired love for meat consumption.  As far as not liking eggs, we recommend you not read Reddbone’s thread “The real deal on cooking eggs” as it gets quite graphic in its descriptions of various egg cooking stages and is not for those of weak tummies. 

Next is the dating scene.  We recommend you keep your cats, Max and Maxine, in your life.  I mean who can resist this?       

Also, your choice of study is perfect.  Psychology is great for picking up the lady folk because girls want a guy who knows how to listen and is sensitive.  Sports psychology is a perfect profession for you since it combines your love of sports with your natural decision making skills.  Your leadership is legendary here are SoL since you played such a crucial role in the very beginnings of the clan.  Yes, we definitely approve the education sector of your life as well as the pets.  Besides you look like a pro already.

Now, onto the most distressing aspect of your post (and pre) mission habits.  We have just learned that you have not purchased a pair of pants in 5 years.  You are definitely in need of Beauty’s help here.  Therefore, we are issuing you a pass to the next Beauty Sleepover so we can take you shopping.  We’ll even see about getting some stuff in your favorite colors, black and yellow.  You need only bring one item to gain entrance into the Sleepover, a brightly colored wig.  We’ll settle for some updated pictures of the Ziggers.

Congrats to Kev for guessing correctly, though you will have to wait 6 hours before guessing the Grand Finale SoLer next week.

Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. . .It’s down to the final MSotW before the season finale.  Let’s see the points break down.

Points: Kev with 6, Ronin with 3, websoul with 2, chaos, east, hottamales, Tru7h, lethal, gandeezay, Wiffer with 1.

Previous SoLers have been: chaos, kev, granty, east, vuel, MG, websoul, Boo, Hottamales, tru7h, ronin, kenobi, kmom, Gandeezay, Nummy, Wiffer, Merle, and Blue.

The penalties: none this week.  You guys are getting smarter, or quieter.

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? peanut butter chocolate
2. Book genre you read the most. mystery/fantasy
3. Best subforum is. . .? no answer, but best thread is “?”
4. Favorite founder and why? blue, because of all the fancy writing
5. Bath or shower? shower, it’s faster
6. Do you prefer video games with guns, cars, piñatas, or martial arts weapons? guns because I tend to be better at those kind of games
7. If you were to play a video game for 24 hours straight what would it be? halo 1, best game ever
8. What color do you wear most often? black or white, because they go with pretty much anything
9. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? sweet, that probably explains the extra pounds
10. Are you a narcissist if you just look at your reflection when passing a reflective surface or must you also run your fingers through your hair? haha, no comment

Yes, the upstanding lawyer in our midst lives up to all the legal jokes made about his profession.  If you ever wanted to know the dirt on a certain Founder, BS for short, here’s the scoop from the most reliable source out there.

Blue, it seems, has had the blood of lawyers in his veins long before he went to law school.  While still a child he entered into a contract with his younger sister wherein he would pay her the sum of $1 million dollars were she ever to get married.  Said sister has since gotten married and even had a child.  No moneys have been paid.  I suppose he could site the ‘just joking’ defense but honestly, his own sister.  An international incident occurred when Blue Steel visited England with his family one Christmas.  He climbed over the chain link fence guarding Stonehenge, that veritable icon of pagan architecture, from would-be nighttime vandals simply to say he’d been there.  What he actually saw of it in the dark is dubious and there are no pictures to prove it either, which is probably why nothing came of the incident.

When his gorgeous wife of 7 years first met him he claimed to be from Germany since his family had moved there whilst he was proselytizing on an LDS mission in Philadelphia, PA.  Clearly there were discrepancies in both his passport and accent.  This same sweet woman was duped on their wedding day, thinking her betrothed to be 6’ 4”.  She would learn years later that he was actually 6’ 5”, making the 3-inch heels she wore that day utterly futile.

Within three years Blue received bachelor degrees in Philosophy and Psychology with a minor in Logic from BYU.  Though he preferred the Philosophy classes he named Psychology on his diploma since only one could be listed and the BS sounded so much more distinguished than the BA.  And there is rumor on the forums of a contract entered into by the Founders wherein Goof will shave his Goatee if and only if a single post can be made on the forums bashing Audis, iMacs, natural wood cabinets and My Little Pony collections without vuel rebutting or cries of approbation from dave.  Clearly this contract is fraudulent as the terms are impossible.  We all know dave loves his My Little Pony Paradise Estate.  However, I think Goof is perpetrating the fraud in this case. . .

For those of you interested in how Blue Steel Esq really gets all those 360 achievements, behold. . .

Congrats to Wiffer!!!!

Just two left for this edition of everyone’s favorite forum game.  Here is the break down of points, penalties and other necessary info. . .

Points: Kev with 6, Ronin with 3, websoul with 2, chaos, east, hottamales, Tru7h, lethal, gandeezay with 1.

Previous SoLers have been: chaos, kev, granty, east, vuel, MG, websoul, Boo, Hottamales, tru7h, ronin, kenobi, kmom, Gandeezay, Nummy, Wiffer, and Merle.

The penalties: none this week

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream
2. Book genre you read the most. Nonfiction
3. Best subforum is. . .? Halo Trilogy
4. Favorite founder and why? Goof  He’s nice as Blue, smart as Neo, and cool as Heat
5. Bath or shower? Showbath
6. Do you prefer video games with guns, cars, piñatas, or martial arts weapons?  I enjoy all the dishes of our video game stew
7. If you were to play a video game for 24 hours straight what would it be? Halo 3
8. What color do you wear most often? Blue
9. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? Depends on my mood
10. Do you like your marshmallows lightly toasted or burned to a crisp?  Toasted, burned is gross.