The Sword of Laban Chronicles

Pinkie McNeo was fired by TRINITY last week and new counsel was retained by the Females of SoL. Mrs. Neanderthal will be filling the role as TRINITY counsel. Mrs. Neandy answered reporters questions last Friday explaining the need for change, “Mr. Neo represented the SoL Ladies adequately for 2 years but became distant after the ladies stopped lending him their clothes.”  “He stretched them out,” MamaGoose explained “He should just get his own dresses”.

More wedding bells! After only a week as SoL ambassador to ClanPMS, SoL’s Gandeezay is engaged to PMS Fraggi3. Deeze is “over the moon” with happiness according to friend BOO 101. Although it was going around that Deeze had asked PMS Athena and AthenaTwin to marry him as well…a harem for Deeze? A lofty goal to say the least since he first needs to get over that hurdle of being a legal age to marry. When asked to comment Deeze claimed that only Fraggi3 will be Mrs. Deeze. And the twins? “They are just members of my new Xtreme Beach Volleyball team”.  We’ll keep our eye on this one.

Cookieman77 was awarded the Purple Heart for sustaining injuries while saving his fellow sailors in an incident aboard ship somewhere in a Pacific port. The story released claims that several sailors were burned when an  RPG was fired at them from shore. Cookie apparently threw several of the men out of the way saving their lives. However, in a mysterious phone call, we were told that the sailors were injured when they attempted to take Cookies stash of oreo’s, Glamour magazines and Yoohoo. Their burns, according to the source, were not from a grenade, but rather boiling water and ramen noodles from a hotplate under Cookies bunk. When asked for comment Cookie stated “I have your RPG right here in my pants, if you know what I mean.”

HEAT SIGHTING! Heat Exchanger was seen Oscar night accompanying Forrest Whittaker to the Grand event. Those not “in the know” took Heat for a body guard but friends claim he was attending as a guest. Later that night Heat was spotted at the Elton John Oscar party and was overheard discussing cleaning and assembly of shotguns with Clint Eastwood. He was then purportedly seen at the Vanity Fair party and Governors Ball as well, his good friend The Goof claims that the lure of “all that free Hollywood food” was too much for Exchanger, “he couldn’t NOT attend”. Eastwood wore a tux by Oscar DeLarenta and Whittaker sported a Calvin Klein tuxedo, while HEAT chose a beater, Carhartt jacket and Dickies.

SoL Buddha reports that he spotted Vuel Egham and Daveastat1on in Boston tying the knot at the city courthouse. (Massachusetts being the only state allowing same-sex marriage) Rumors had been going around that the union was imminent although many doubted. “They hate each other!” LethalMC! stated, “you should hear them ingame!” But sources insist that they were seen exiting the courthouse hand-in-hand, looking very happy. Eghams long-time companion Mad Beers was reached for comment but was too overcome with grief to respond. The Bride, Egham, wore a lovely white shift and pumps, the groom wore black jeans and a Dr. Pepper tee shirt.

Lord Gideon was summoned to London by none-other than the Queen herself! She demanded to know how he was knighted and exactly when it occurred. Gideon has 30 days to produce documentation proving his nobility or he will be stripped of the title and hereafter known as Knave Gideon.

In California plans are well underway for the event of the season! The SoL Ladies Sleepover Party. Sources say they overheard MamaGoose and Lady Blue discussing plans but only a few details were gleaned: “Chippendales” and “chocolate” were among the talk. Should be a grand event!

HEAT SIGHTING! Heat Exchanger was seen exiting the Pentagon last Thursday. It was difficult to find a source that would shed some light on why he was there…but it is believed that he gave crucial information on “How Not to Be Seen”. We will keep you informed of HEAT sightings as they come available.

That’s all the news today…check in next Tuesday for the SoL RAG. We eavesdrop so you can stay informed!

It was about two and a half weeks ago that I found myself in the World of Warcraft, playing a 10-day free trial. After years of giving the cold shoulder to role-playing games, I had been softened by the MMO genre of RPGs, and one of its star up and comers: Guild Wars. I started out roughly a month after the release of Guild Wars, which will be two years ago this May. I’ve now begun to ask myself a question, a question, which, after playing so long and enjoying the game so much, may seem silly, but on the other hand may have become all the more pertinent: after 1,800 hours of gameplay, what do I really have to show?

It may be a valid question for any RPG, or even any video game, but as I prepare to move on to college and I begin to pay more attention to such things, I become disheartened. Returning back to the beginning of this piece, I was enjoying WoW greatly, forgetting, at least for the moment, my questioning of the long-term worth of my time spent playing. I had been cautioned by a friend of mine who also tried the free-trial that, based on the addiction I had to Guild Wars at one point, if I were to try WoW, I may never come back, WoW being to many (my friend and I included) the reference point for MMORPGs. I enjoyed the trial period thoroughly, and played with the idea of buying it, getting my rogue to level 70, and participating in epic raids and attacks on enemy capitals.

That was two and a half weeks ago, and I still haven’t bought it (and probably won’t until after college, but how I’ll be thinking and what my interests and priorities will be at that point are anyone’s guess). I also haven’t played Guild Wars in ernest for at least a month. My eight characters, each a piece of the 1,800 hours, my warrior in his Fissure Armor (my greatest accomplishment), the millions of gold coins that have passed through my hands, and what do I have to show? Some very fun times with a friend or two, and a feeling of sadness because I’ve lost the magic that Guild Wars once held for me.

As a side effect of this recent disenchantment, however, I’m becoming reinvigorated with an appreciation for shooters again, enjoying things like Counter-Strike, Halo 1 co-op with my friend, Halo 2, and others. Perhaps with appropriate timing Crackdown is out today, which I’ve been looking forward to after playing the demo several times. My tastes in game genres could be a cycle for all I know; if so, I’ll see you in Guild Wars/WoW in a couple of years.

How much does your GT mean to you? Are you willing to put in several hours on the phone? Pay two years of fees? Give blood? How hard will you fight?

Last summer, when kilaMOMjaro was supposed to renew, I had it downgraded to silver and the XBL rep on the line assured me my GT would sit safely until I was ready to be gold again. Recently I contacted XBL to reinstate my kilaMOMjaro GT from a silver account to gold. Little did I know…XBL believed kilaMOMjaro to have been cancelled, and sent to collection. “What are you collecting?” I asked several thousand times. No one could quite answer.

Every person I talked to said it would be impossible to reinstate kilaMOMjaro…she was simply dead. I told then they were crazy! It only took a few keystrokes on a computer and she’d be resurrected! I wouldn’t let that point die. I explained that I was registered under that GT at over 18 gaming communities, probably a mistake on my part as it made me sound insane. After being passed around for 3 hours (I’m not exaggerating) a very insincere girl named Jen assured me she would send this “up” to M$ where they would review it.

A week later another gal called. She was ready to tell me that M$ refused, bringing up the collection issue again, when I interrupted her and said. “This matter is very simple, I was told by your employee that my account was silver and I could upgrade at any time. That’s it. You need to fix it for me now”. For some reason this girl was different. She must be a fellow gamer, she sounded genuinely shocked, sincerely interested and like she wanted kilaMOMjaro back as much as I did. This time she typed every word I said and not only said she was sending it back, but that kilaMOMjaro would be reinstated.

I would think that being willing to put in so much time to restore kMOMj would be enough to convince them of my sincerity. Don’t they see that she means a lot to the Gaming World? ;] All I know is until I get the call with the green light, I am unsettled knowing a part of my identity is up for elimination. I only hope the gal is successful.

Meanwhile we better get out some paint and poster boards….”FREE kilaMOMjaro!!” I’ll meet you at Microsoft’s front door.

In the days of MLG tournaments and Clan Challenges, there is not anything that combines multiple games, teamwork, strategy, and puzzle solving quite like SoL Survivor. Based loosely on the very popular reality show Survivor, SS, keeps the same style as its counterpart, with a little twist. Teams do battle on Xbox LIVE. With games ranging from Warthog CTF races, to a 2v2 UNO game, SoL Survivor is taking full advantage of all that XBOX 360 has to offer.

Each team is given a secret forum in Sword of Laban; and each week teams do battle for Team Immunity. The losing team votes off one of its members, and that person is removed from their team’s forum. After a predetermined number has been eliminated, the Teams will merge and the players will then compete for single immunity. Only one will be left standing.

Alliances, Immunities, twist and turns make SoL Survivor an exciting and rewarding change from typical tournaments. Not to mention the prizes! Stay tuned for more info on what is happening on SoL Survivor now, and when to sign up for SoL Survivor 2.0.

If you’ve been keeping up with all of the other blogs on the net, you’ve obviously heard a lot of opinions, rumors and speculation on the Halo 3 beta that will soon be upon us. The fact is, we don’t know a lot about the beta, and whenever there’s hype for something without solid information, wild things are claimed.

But really, do you care about the Halo 3 beta? If the answer is ‘Yes’ (and it likely is), then my next question is, Why? We don’t know what maps or weapons it will include, who will have access to what, and perhaps most importantly, how long we’ll have access to it. Microsoft and Bungie have teamed up for the marketing ploy of the century: Just when Wii’s and PS3’s will be readily available and the second wave of software will be strolling in, we’ll be playing Halo 3. Smooth move.

But I’m hoping to enlighten you a little about what exactly a beta is. Most console gamers don’t really understand a beta, and thus they’re treating their Halo 3 invitations like Golden Tickets to Halo 3 Multiplayer access six months early. Ummm. . .not so much.

First and foremost, an online beta is one of two things: Either a bug-fixer or a server stress-test. If it’s a bug-fixer, then we’ll be getting a glitched-out, lag-filled version of Halo 3 that will no doubt cause a few migraines. It will however, give us the chance to leave Bungie honest feedback about what we see and what we’d change.

The other option is the server stress-test. This is where the beta is in good-form. Sure the graphics aren’t finished and the sound will still be updated, but the game will play straight. The issue is to work out server stability. This means the Halo 3 you’ll be playing will probably have host and connection issues, but the core gameplay should be solid. Either way, Halo 3 multiplayer we’ll be playing will be purposely limited.

The truth of the matter is, this beta will likely be a server stress-test, pure and simple. No doubt there will be bugs in Halo 3 this spring, but Bungie isn’t going to introduce their game to the public filled with bugs and glitches. Will. Not. Happen. M$ and Bungie are making sure that they get Halo 3’s multiplayer right, and so the public beta will be used to solidify server connections, work on ways to discourage stand-bye and bridging, and to soften (the current hot topic in SoL:) host-issues. So the big question is: What does this mean to you? There are a couple things you should remember about this spring’s Halo 3 beta:

1) It will be Limited in Content: The game-types and weapons will all likely be there, but the maps will definitely be kept under wraps. In all likelihood, the three we’ve seen so far will be the three (and only three) we’ll play during the beta. Also, anything they haven’t announced will likely not be in the beta as well. In other words, if they don’t come out and announce what the ‘X’ button does before the beta releases, then we won’t be seeing it.
2) It will be Limited in Time: This is a hard pill to swallow for many – but you should be aware that this beta will not go up to Halo 3’s release. How long will it last? Nobody knows – but Bungie is not putting its product out there for the world to enjoy. They’re doing that in November. Bungie is working, and they’re being gracious enough to let us join them. When they have what they need from the public beta, it’s gone.

Obviously, this information is sobering and disheartening for many, but before you pick up stones to throw at M$ and Bungie, think about what they’re doing for the community – they’re giving us something no console game has ever given us before. They’re taking a huge gamble doing it, too! (What if people don’t like it?!) Don’t be upset if the beta isn’t all you want it to be – be glad that you’ll be able to participate in gaming history!

Enjoy the Halo 3 beta for what it is and while it lasts.

I have to admit, I never thought I’d say this, but Midway has a clear advantage over Konami and Namco. Yep, you read that right.

Konami is home to such classics as Frogger, Contra, Blades of Steel and Double Dribble. Later, Kojima-san took it to the next level with Metal Gear Solid and there’s this little franchise called Silent Hill – nobody follows it.

Namco is your arcade-powerhouse. Over the span of videogame history, they’ve graced us with Pac Man and Galaga. More recently, we’ve been given two of the sweetest franchises of all time in Tekken and Time Crisis.

Then there’s Midway. They’ve given us NBA Jam. You remember that game, right? Oh, and there was Mortal Kombat. Two great franchises, to be sure; but hardly on par with the aforementioned games. But Midway now has something that Konami and Namco don’t have: the ability to solidly release retro titles.

Midway started it with Gauntlet – a title that was lost in the shuffle of Geometry Wars and Hexic. It was Gauntlet that first showed us the potential of fun online co-op play of some of our old favorites.

We saw a “Summer of Bummers” in ’06 with Frogger, Street Fighter II, and Pac Man all coming out with high expectations, but all greatly missing the mark. Frogger controlled like a frog in a wet cardboard box trying to cross the street. SF2 could give you three games in a row without someone dropping out. And Pac Man, well. . .what can we say about Pac Man? Slow-responsive controls and no 2-player option had this legendary game dead on arrival. And of course, all of these games touted “Hi-definition” graphics. Yeah.

But then Midway did the unexpected. With no hype whatsoever, they released a gem in Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. Now, personally – I can’t stand Mortal Kombat. But when you offer a faithful replica with solid, smooth online play, you’ve done something special, or at least something other developers haven’t done.

We’ve since been treated to underwhelming renditions of Galaga, Contra, New Rally X, and Defender. Midway has offered us Root Beer Tapper and Paperboy. Now, look at those names, and take a second to replay the demos of these games in your head – that’s right: Someone in the development community needs to explain to us how RBT and Paperboy somehow came out better than some of the greatest retro titles of all time. The following is my shortlist of reasons why:

1) Online Play – Midway knew they weren’t putting the most wanted titles out, so they went the extra mile and added solid online options. UMK3 and Paperboy have multiple online modes, while Gauntlet and RBT offer co-op modes without the constant lagging and server-dropping we often find on other XBLA games.
2) Attractive UI – Has anyone else noticed the slick menus put out on Midway’s retro titles. Of course, menus are not that big of a deal, but they go a long way to show that this publisher actually cares about its games, that these aren’t simply quick cash-ins.
3) Intuitive Controls – The long and the short of it is this: the games control fine. You don’t constantly get ticked the way you do in other XBLA games when your frog or pac-muncher go the opposite way, or when your spaceship only launches one laser fire per 12 seconds. The controls don’t stand out as “amazing” in Midway’s games; but they’re done right, so you don’t get frustrated with them, making them the excuse while you just got killed!

So what gives? These are some of the best developed/published retro titles on XBLA. How come nobody’s playing them, but they’re playing and complaining about games like Pac Man, Contra, and Street Fighter II? Well, just because these games were put out in their best possible form doesn’t make them the best games. UMK 3 is a shallow, repetitive fighter; Root Beer Tapper is too simple and quirky for today’s gamer; Gauntlet simply has no hype or press surrounding it; and Paperboy. . .well, Paperboy was never a good game to begin with. The only reason you played the thing growing up was because the arcade version had those sweet handlebars as a controller. Take that away, and nobody would have played the game in the first place.

So while there are better games available on XBLA, other developers and publishers should take some notes from Midway. They’ve shown a consistent care for the products they’ve put out. Let’s hope that Konami changes its tune when Castlevania is released.

Until that time, though, Midway is the publisher to beat.

The following is a list compiled of the top Xbox LIVE titles for the week of February 10 - 16. Gears of War continues to be the most played title overall. Games officially supported by Sword of Laban are highlighted. Thanks to Major Nelson for this information!

Xbox 360 Top Live Titles (UU’s)
1 Gears of War
2 Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Vegas
3 Call Of Duty 3
4 DEF JAM: ICON (Demo)
5 Crackdown (Demo)
6 Madden NFL 07
7 Lost Planet
8 NBA STREET (Demo)
9 Oblivion
10 GRAW 2 (Demo)

Top Arcade Titles (Full Versions)
1 Paperboy
2 Root Beer Tapper
3 UNO
4 Heavy Weapon
5 Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3
6 Contra
7 Texas Hold ‘em
8 Geometry Wars Evolved
9 Street Fighter II’ Hyper Fighting
10 Small Arms

Original Xbox Top Live Games
1 Halo 2
2 Battlefield 2: MC
3 Madden NFL 07
4 Star Wars: Battlfrnt 2
5 Counter-Strike
6 Call of Duty 3
7 Forza Motorsport
8 Ghost Recon 2
9 PGR 2
10 Rainbow Six 3

What is Sword of Laban? It’s the hottest online gaming community around! With over 1,000 members, and covering games from World of Warcraft and Guild Wars, to Halo and Gears of War, to Rainbow Six: Vegas and Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, Sword of Laban has something to offer for everybody.

Well, almost everybody. Sword of Laban is a clan that takes pride in its reputation of no cheating and no profanity. There’s no minimum age to join Sword of Laban, but this clan consists of mature gamers who eagerly seek to make friends and improve their gaming skills.

This blog is a new extension of our site: swordoflaban.net. Here, you’ll find highlights, summaries and announcements from the clan on one, easily accessible site. So if you’re a member and you don’t have time to search the forums, perhaps what you’re looking for is right here. If you’re a visitor and you’re looking to know more about the greatness that is Sword of Laban, then you’re definitely in a good spot. Again, we’d encourage you to check out our website; but in the meantime, enjoy our blog!

There will be more to come in the coming days, with daily updates soon - so stay tuned!